You'll be hearing from my lawyer!

OK... not really. Heck, I actually need to call my lawyer... So, I'm going through with the adoption. I'm really excited and scared. I know it sounds sort of stupid but adoption makes everything so... real. I know he's my son and all. No doubt about it. But adoption means that there really is no turning back. I'm ready for that change but it doesn't make it any less scary. God has definitely put me here "for such a time as this". I look back at this journey and I can't believe all of the wonderful things that God has done in the past almost 5 years of my life. I was talking to a friend of mine and this is what I wrote:

Thank you for your prayers, I'll continue to need them:) Yes, God did know. Who knew that almost 5 years ago when I threw a baby shower for [his biological mother] that it would be for my own son? Or when she called me to ask if she should let him be adopted by the people in California that it would be because God had ordained it for me to raise him and not the other family? Sometimes I look back at all of the complaining I did and my "plan" for my life and laugh. Technically, God answered my prayer. I said that I wanted to start having children around 27 or 28. Technically, I did. I just didn't have to carry him or birth him myself. I still want biological children and a husband, but seeing how God has worked has really given me perspective. I don't worry about those things or nag about them because if God can do something like this, who knows what other things he has for me? In the words of the story that Woody likes to tell, I know that God is fond of me.

I often have to remind myself of God insights like this when he's screaming like a wild child because he didn't get his way. Like last week: He was upset because he lied even though I warned him that if he lied to me that he would go to bed. He of course lied and I sent him to bed. So, the tantrum began. 20 minutes later, I go up and remind him that his tantrum does no good, and that he's just wasting his time. I close the door and go downstairs. A minute later, he stops screaming that he wants to get up and take a bath and is now screaming, "I WANT MY TIME BACK!!!!" I don't know where he got that from... he's so dramatic!;)



I can't believe he'll be 5 in a little over a month. FIVE!!! Seriously? Next year, he'll start Kindergarten (I'm already praying for his poor teacher) and it'll be all over. Where did the time go? Yesterday, we played football (OK... I just tackled him over and over) and it was such a sweet time of memories. He's such a funny character although just between you and me... a little weird as well... OK quirky. He's like an 80 year old man in a 4 year old's body. He makes sure that no one will forget him and couldn't be a wall flower if he wanted to... no matter how pale he is... He'll find a way to upstage anyone with his bobbing eyebrows and break dancing. Anyway, I could brag about him all day or night:) Here's a picture from a friend's wedding. I don't know what he's doing, but at least I look good;)